Monday’s Journey

Sometime in August 2017 we received the news that changed our world, Dementia. Oh, I knew something had been wrong, the signs were there, having trouble at work, forgetting what he was doing, repeating everything he said. But to actually see the physical signs start to take affect on my husband was a little bit scary and sad.

For over twenty years my husband had supported our family, sure we had our trials up and down over the years, but this diagnosis is a new reality for us all. So, I decided to make Monday’s my day’s to post my journey through this disease. If it helps others out there then great, since I know there are hundreds, thousands going through the same things I am.

We wait for the next step of the disease to start. Will it start when I’m home to help him? Or will it happen when I’m working one of the two jobs I’m holding down? Yes, I count my writing as a job, because I hope one day this will be my full time job, support me, us.

My thoughts are everywhere as his disappear from his grasp. When do we take the car keys away? How much do I ask the children to help? Do I want them to really handle seeing their father so confused?

(No, it’s not my husband, but the picture is so close to the heart.)  I see my husband sitting on the couch, just staring. He does not hear me calling him, there is a blankness in his gaze. Where has he gone? Where is the strong warrior I first saw?

Then theirs THE FAMILY. You know the ones. The ones that don’t care, that only want what is good for them. Who cares that their brother, son is going to pass from this illness as long as they get what they want from him. Why? To this day I still can phantom such people. So, I pull up my big girl panties and act as the shield. Protecting him as much as I can. Making sure his last days are the best I can.

This Monday is all about taking one day at a time and making it the best I know for him. If it means so much for him to be with his family still, even though they are worthless jerks so be it. But they make one wrong move, he gets lost or hurt it will be their last time with him unless supervised. Cross the path of a woman who is protecting her children, because right now the man that was her warrior is now her child on some days and believe me this woman will protect him.

His memory might be leaving him, but mine will be here, guiding him. Where there is darkness I will be his light, let anyone try and darken his path, because I will burn bright all the way through this, sharing my memories.

Until next Monday, may your journey be strong and with bright light.

4 thoughts on “Monday’s Journey

  1. mary says:

    sad disease , that was a beautiful post brought tears to my eyes . i have been there when my mother in law went through this i took care of her and you are so right about some family members … My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  2. Lynn Pearson says:

    Hi Trinity, I am very sorry to read about your husband and wish there was a known cure for this debilitating illness. My thoughts are with you and your husband at this time.
    Lynn Pearson

  3. Lynn A. Reynolds says:

    Coming up on 11 years since my mother left us. She had a massive stroke and then something seemed to be happening. She would start to see a little boy in her room. We’d be watching the Food Network and she thought the people were cooking for her. The blessing was that after three years the effects of the stroke took her from us. She had what is called Lewie Bodies Disease. Loosing a loved one is never easy but knowing that there are people out there to share with just makes things a little easier. Blessings to you and your family.

  4. Paula Rickert says:

    My mom had dementia at the end of her time on Earth. She was in nursing home so we didn’t have to deal with it directly. Only with the fall out. She was 91 when she passed on December 17, 2010. I was closest living daughter out of 4 girls so she blamed me for everything. I miss her still and always will. Hugs and love to you and your family.

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